Catching up with friends and colleagues at the Fall Meetings always leaves me energized—and reminds me how rarely we carve out that kind of time during the rest of the year. Unlike other circles of friends or family, our professional community understands the nuances of our shared journeys: the daily challenges and triumphs, the balancing act of work, family, and everything in between.
As otolaryngologists, we are highly motivated individuals who often feel we are not doing enough—despite our tremendous involvement both at work and at home. This year, perhaps more than others, I noticed a deeper sense of concern among colleagues. It has been a difficult year for many, marked by NIH funding cuts, layoffs, the government shutdown, reimbursement reductions, rising labor costs, leadership transitions, and ongoing debates around DEI. Yet amid these pressures, our community continues to pour energy into mentorship, patient care, advocacy, and home life. I remain in awe of how much we do, even while carrying personal challenges of our own.
During one of these conversations, a friend brought up the idea of “Choosing Joy.” It struck a chord. Choosing Joy does not mean pretending everything is fine. It’s not about “surface acting”—a concept described in the Harvard Business Review article “How ‘Surface Acting’ Drains Leaders—and How to Break the Cycle” (HBR. https://tinyurl.com/3sfrftvk). Surface acting is when we suppress true feelings and fake the emotions expected of us. Surface acting is emotionally exhausting and linked to lower well-being and job satisfaction. Most of us have done it at some point. Put on a brave, smiling face to get through the day, only to feel more depleted afterward.
Choosing Joy, by contrast, is closer to what researchers call “deep acting,” a genuine reshaping of our emotional response. Choosing Joy is about cultivating perspective, gratitude, and authenticity, even when circumstances are difficult. Research by Sayre et al. found that simple acts of relaxation— reading, sitting outside to watch a sunset, or listening to music—replenish our energy more effectively than more effortful activities like dining out or exercising. While physical activity and social connection are still vital, moments of quiet restoration help sustain us through demanding seasons and break the surface acting spiral.
As we enter the busy holiday period, I encourage each of us to find balance: to connect, to exercise, and also to rest. Choosing Joy often requires intentionality. It means recognizing that our worth is not measured solely by productivity and that pausing to recharge is not indulgent; it’s necessary.
Feeling that we are “not doing enough” is not unique to any gender; it’s a common thread among capable, committed individuals. That’s why trusted friends and colleagues are so essential. They remind us of how much we contribute and help us see ourselves through a kinder lens.
What makes reconnecting so powerful is the authenticity those moments allow. We can be open about our struggles and uncertainties with people who truly understand and do not judge. That honesty and connection are what fuel our sense of joy and belonging.
As we approach the holidays and a new year, I want to thank our community for its care of patients, compassion, advocacy, and mentorship. May we all continue to support one another and Choose Joy, intentionally and authentically, every day.
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