A River Between Generations: Reflections on Time, Care, and Legacy

Dr. Wei (far right) and her husband Dave with their parents in Strasbourg.

As I gently pulled the drapes open from our Viking River Cruise suite window, the early morning light outlining rows of trees along the Rhine riverbank took my breath away. The water shimmered like glass with gentle waves as the boat drifted past villages that had stood for centuries. All was quiet except for the low hum of the engines and the occasional call of a gull. For the first time in years, I felt still.

This European trip was long anticipated, planned since January, after what I experienced taking care of my father when he was hospitalized for acute cholecystitis in a suburban Los Angeles community hospital. My memories from being his caretaker and advocate were traumatic: Monitoring timely lab draws and IV antibiotics, waiting for daily rounds by the hospitalist to confirm care plan and next steps, meeting the surgeon and GI on call, translating care plans to my parents, ensuring his peri-operative readiness for anesthesia (ERCP stenting first, then laparoscopic cholecystectomy), and preparing for his prolonged recovery over the next month. I prayed and decided back then that, as long as my father recovered, I would take him and my mother on a trip of a lifetime.

I invited my mother-in-law as well. She deserved nothing less than to be pampered and experience a vacation like no other. She was the tireless caretaker for my father-in-law, who suffered poor health for over a decade and passed away two years ago. She was also a devoted daughter-in-law to Dave’s amazing grandmother, Tilly, whom we lost at age 106 during the pandemic.

So, Dave and I, with an 81-year-old and two 76-year-olds, shared our first river cruise experience. While my parents are well-traveled in the U.S. and Asia, it was the first time in Europe for all three parents. Amidst constant demands of patient care, administrative and leadership responsibilities for the division, onboarding two new faculty and advanced practice providers, it seemed surreal that we were finally on our way. The river, unknown to me, would set the pace.

Recent research shows that leisure travel is not merely a break from work but a reset for body and mind: Vacationers report lower stress, improved mood, and renewed motivation. I needed a reset for sure, but could never have realized the gifts this vacation provided that were unique from all other trips Dave, Claire, and I have taken.