Tips to Help You Regain Your Sense of Self

by Jennifer A. Villwock, MD •

  • What foods do you actually enjoy eating that also healthfully fuel your body? Eat those things. If you don’t know, ask for help. Your health insurance may include free health coaching or nutrition perks. Maybe organize a healthy potluck or meal exchange.
  • What activities do you enjoy that move your body and keep you active? Do more of that. If you don’t know, consider signing up for a random class or take advantage of a Groupon offer.
  • Feeling too introverted or embarrassed for an exercise class? Sign up for a two-week free trial of one of the many exercise apps available.
  • Do you have a hobby or interest? Nurture it. Can’t remember what you find fun? Ask a friend or colleague for a recommendation or to come with you to a random community event. (I recommend children’s musical theater. There are few things cuter than a multitude of 5-year olds singing Disney songs!)
  • Do you like to create? Decide to make something and, if you don’t already know how, watch a YouTube video and learn (if you’re interested in crochet, check out Wooly Wonders crochet channel ϑ). If you realize you hate the process halfway through, give yourself permission to quit!
  • What new horizons would you like to explore through music or literature? Ask a friend if they’ve come across any up and coming artists or find an open mic night. Maybe join, or start, a book club.

And to you medical students and residents reading, or anyone else who’s overwhelmed with their exceptionally busy life, actively thinking to yourself, “I do not have the time, or the money, for any of your suggestions,” I see you. I hear you. I understand. Perhaps a follow-up question to the ones above may be, “What is the smallest next step I can take towards those goals?” Could you carry almonds or other nuts in your white coat pocket to have a healthy snack option? Can you commit to taking the stairs up one more flight of stairs than you normally would while rounding on patients? Can you sneak away for five minutes in between consults to go stand in a patch of sunlight and take 10 deep breaths? Could you focus on having one genuine, human interaction with another person per day?

As you consider these options, be kind to yourself as you experiment. Not everything is going to feel “right.” It may take some time to remember who you are under all the layers and after all the years of focusing on your training and the welfare of others. Try to avoid “should-ing all over yourself” and doing things out of guilt because they’re what you think you’re supposed to do, lest they drain you while adding another layer of plaster.

“Love takes off casts* that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”—James Baldwin

*original quote: “Love takes off masks…”